I think it's time I get a new hair style. My hair has grown out more and now looks boring. Not sure what I should do. Should I bring back my bangs? go shorter? let it grow out more?

so many possibilities

The future came up again. We went to a jewelry store to get my necklace fixed (the clasp broke). When we came back to his house I told him I didn't want an engagement ring. He thought I was joking. He knows how many times I used to bug him about what kind of ring I want. Now I don't care so much. He asked me if I would be mad at him if he got me a ring anyway. I said no, but I think the money could be best used on other things. He then asks if he should put that money aside towards a down payment on a house. My reaction? Big smile and big bright eyes! =)

So when he saves enough money to get me a ring (which will be a while depending on job situation), we're gonna open a join bank account together and put that money (and then some) in there for our future

I feel like a changed person. A change for the better. A ring would be nice, but a house to call home would be awesome.

It's getting harder and harder lately to live with my dad. He's so old fashioned, he doesn't understand things no matter how many times you explain it, and his memory gets foggy.

Just right now he barges in my room just to tell me a little thing that can wait.

I wish he had friends to hang out with.

I feel like ever since mom died, he's latched on to me like i'm the only one left in his life.

He keeps worrying about Sean and I. He has doubts that he can support me.

I've been told to be patient and understanding with him. It's hard. Especially when things feel one sided.

:::sigh:::

My mouth finally healed 2 weeks after surgery. Last night, Sean and I went to ringer hut to have the best Yakimeshi (fried rice) and champon (sorta like ramen) here in the bay area =)

We have new carpet in the house. I'm currently going through a bunch of my stuff. I've made 3 trips to goodwill so far. Sean took some of my stuff to sell on ebay for me.

We sold our piano. I'm thinking of selling my small pool table. Anyone interested?

I got my lower right wisdom tooth out today. Bleeding stopped hours ago but still in pain. Both my top wisdom teeth never grew and my lower left tooth is too risky to take out (too close to nerve/root), but it's not a threat.

been eating pudding and apple sauces. Vicodin isn't really doing much for me. I've got an ice pack for tonight. Instructions say tomorrow I should try heat method to reduce swelling.

As a reward for getting this tooth out AND not spending ANY money on makeup/music/clothes, I ordered and splurged on a bunch of makeup online

=)

I deserve it

In just this week alone:

- one of my cousins gave birth to a healthy baby boy on Wednesday
- one of my friends/former coworker said goodbye to their first child who died at birth
- one of my friends broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years
- my best friend had her housewarming party and got engaged in the same day surrounded by friends and family

so I'll just past the IM conversation I had with Sean. I swear, I've nothing but back luck with old men. WARNING: Foul language is frequent in this chat thread. I was THAT mad:



kerotab: oh do I have a story to tell you

sean hollister: Yeah?

kerotab: I got bitched at by an old man at the market.the was such an ass. so I went to safeway to pick up a cake for doug's last day, kelly's wedding, and josef's wedding

sean hollister: Whaaat? How come?

kerotab: I pulled a cart and took it to where the cakes are then this old dumb as man (who looks like the old man in UP)tries to get my attention and asks me if this is my cart. I said yes. let me get this real quick...but it wasnt quick enough. he slams his cart into mine because it's "in the way"
he fucking could have gone around me
or at least wait a few seconds to grab the cake and leave
but no!
he shoves my cart with his
and tells me that what I did was full of shit
i told him i wasn't done yet and that it wasn't shit and fuck you
as i left i told him to get some fucking manners
and patience
how fucking rude is that
it isn't shit
because all he wanted was a fucking bagel

sean hollister: Wow.

kerotab: i know!!

sean hollister: That's ridiculous

kerotab: he could have waited or moved around me. There was PLENTY of room to go around me.
it's a fucking market
i used all those words too
I either told him fuck you or go fuck yourself
he was a bitter old man

sean hollister: wow. That's pretty strange

kerotab: he was definitely not an old man I would respect
ugh
just thinking about it pisses me off!

sean hollister:I bet.

he's got a boo boo on his bum =(

Gonna take him to the shop on Saturday for evaluation


:::sigh:::

Here's the stuff I want to part with. Since this stuff is used and was originally purchased for hella cheap, they are free of charge. However, if you would like to contribute to the feed the needy kerotab foundation, donations are welcomed =)

( Picture Time! )

Interested? Message me.

Anyone interested in some cosmetics? I've gone through my stuff and have some things that are new and the rest barely used that I want to get rid of. When I say barely used, I mean I've used it once or twice max to swatch. It would be a shame to just throw them away. Yes I know they are used and if you are uncomfortable with used makeup that's fine. I understand. But I'm only asking friends and family who know me. I've got lip gloss, nail polish, eye shadows, blush and powder that needs to go.

If anyone is interested just comment. If no one replies, I wont post pics and just toss them.

Another crappy day at work.

It's just bad practice to tell me I'm going to start doing something without consulting me first. It's even worse when you see my email and think I have attitude when that was never the intention at all!


ugh

I'm updating my resume now....I can't take this anymore

I start to write my entry, then I look it over and i'm not happy with it. So I delete it and start all over. I've been doing that the past half hour. I can't say what I want to say. I don't know if I should say what I want to say. Sometimes I don't know what I want to say.

But the bottom line still remains the same.



I'm not happy with my life. It's so confusing and frustrating. I bet you would have never known.







The tears of a clown
When there's no one around

My grey hairs are telling me how old I am...or at least how stressed I am.

:::sigh::::

For years I've caught a grey hair here and there, but now it's more frequent....a lot more frequent. Pulled about 5 or 6 today. =(

I dont want to dye my hair again. Too much upkeep. Too much money.

At least I still look 16

7 years later I still remember it as if it happened last night.

I remember what I did that day.

I remember the last time I saw her with her eyes open looking at me.

I remember who was with me when I said goodbye to her.

I still get choked up thinking about it

Try to find me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjeCmHwqVpU&feature=channel_page

This past weekend, Sean, my dad, and I drove down to LA. It was my Lola's (grandmother) 85th birthday. She's on my mom's side of the family and had no idea we were coming down to visit or that she would be getting a birthday party.

The trip itself was crappy. Even though we have new cars, my dad insisted we get a rental car so that we don't add miles to our car. whatever. The car was crap. It was an '09 corolla that smelled of cigarettes. It was so disgusting, yet it reminded me of the days when my Lolo (grandfather) would babysit me and I'd be in his car which smelled of cigarettes. When we got to LA we stayed in ghetto Alhambra in a crappy hotel room. I have no idea what my dad was thinking. The hotel was across the street from a night club. I barely got any sleep last weekend because the music kept blasting until 2am. Luckily for Sean, he sleeps like a rock and probably got more sleep than I did.

The party was awesome. I've got pics up on my facebook page. It was so good to see family again. My sister and bro-in-law came too! There were cousins, aunts, and uncles that I haven't seen since my mom's funeral! We ate lots of food, but no one ate the 4 cakes that were there! There were other desserts like my cousin's red velvet cupcakes, and turon (banana wrapped in an egg roll wrapper and fried) which is what I ate. All the grand kids gave Lola a rose and said some birthday wishes. There was also a slide show with pictures of Lola. Whoever made the slide show decided to also show pictures of her grand kids. Unfortunately the only pictures they had of me were when I was a kid with bad fashion sense. After that some karaoke commenced. My cousin, Bryan, sang, "Barbie girl" while cousin, Michael, sang Britney Spears' "Lucky". Haha! It was so funny!

Lola was so happy to see us all! I wish we could spend more time with her. I'm glad Sean came with us. He met my family once at my sister's wedding but that was a long ass time ago. My family likes him. Tita (Aunt) Tess told him he's part of our family now. That meant a lot to me.

I hope I can see my family again. I miss them.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=%2Fc%2Fa%2F2009%2F05%2F18%2FBAHH17MMH8.DTL&tsp=1


Todd was a former co-worker of mine. He was a funny guy. Didn't know him too well, but whenever I was at Google, he'd joke around and be funny.

He will be missed

Sorry this is so long. It was one whole week!

Pictures will soon be up (if not already) on my Facebook page and on my flickr page:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kerotab/

My sister already has some video and pics up on her flickr page
http://www.flickr.com/photos/eileenrose/

Maui Day 1 - Travel Day

I'll admit, I was a bit nervous. I haven't flown in over 7 years! Once up in the air I was fine. Hawaiian Airlines is pretty good. They've got a damn good chocolate brownie. One thing I did notice while on the plane was how technology dependent i've become. I didn't know that 10 minutes after takeoff you can use your electronic devices. After an hour I was waiting for someone to announce it was okay to use but no one said anything. I was so bored. When I'm bored I go online or use my iPhone. Since I couldn't do any of that, I got really bored and a little ADD. The split second I was told (by my dad) that I could use electronics, I immediately whipped out my DS.
5 hours after leaving SJ, I arrived in Honolulu. My first impression: Philippines. It's so similar in terms of weather, hot and humid. There, we met up with my sister (E) and bro-in-law (T). There were also Hawaiian dancers to greet the passengers, but we did not get leis. Only the people traveling in very large groups did . =( We had 2 hours to kill before our next flight so we grabbed some very expensive lunch at the airport. Holy crap! $76 for 4 people?! sheesh! I had a burger, my dad had a sandwich, and E&T both got nachos! This must be how the airport makes money. ugh.
After lunch we all got on the same plane to Maui. It only took 30 minutes to get there, but it felt much faster than that. It felt like this: takeoff -> pass out juice - > 5 minutes later flight attendants pick up trash - > land in Maui. After we got our luggage and car rental, we were off to the resort villa in Ka'anapali (In case you didn't know, E&T got a time share villa here). It took almost an hour to get there, but the scenic view was so amazing. All you could see is the bright blue water on one side and the beautiful mountains on the other. The resort itself, is also amazing (http://www.starwoodvacationownership.com/westin_kaanapali_ocean_resort_villas_north/welcome.jsp) We got the ocean view. Once we got settled in, we drove down to the town of Lahaina (about 5 - 10 minute drive) to grab some toiletries at Longs and food at the local Safeway. Longs in Hawaii is not the same as here in Cali. They had a small section fresh produce and more Hawaiian foods like Poi (more on that later).

Maui Day 2
We ate our breakfast out in the lanai (balcony). You have to if you got a gorgeous view like we did. After breakfast we all got in our swimsuits and headed out to the beach. The beach was right out front so it only took us less than 5 minutes to walk there. E gave me the basics of snorkeling. It's pretty easy as long as the waters are calm. I can't swim, but I can float so this was perfect for me. I was surprised to see many fish out near the shore. E & T snorkeled our further.
When we were done with the beach, we went back to our rooms, cleaned up, then headed back to Lahaina for some authentic Hawaiian food. E&T have been here before so they knew were to go. We ate lunch at Aloha mixed plate which serves the best Hawaiian food out there. I had the Kalua pork with rice and macaroni salad. I also tried poi and lomi lomi salmon for the first time. Poi is taro root smashed into a creamy paste. You put it over the Kalua pork or whatever the main dish is. lomi lomi salmon looks like salsa, but it's got raw salmon in it. Very tasty.
That night we went to Whalers Village, an outdoor shopping area. That day happened to be the day of the Maui Onion Festival. We missed most of it, but got a chance to check out the Hawaiian dancing. They had young adults dancing as welll as the little kids. So cute! We ate dinner at a restaurant called, Leilani's where I had a really good piece of steak. Very good food, yet very expensive. They weren't kidding when they said Hawaii is expensive.

Maui Day 3
E & T heard from a friend that up north there's a beach where you can find turtles in the ocean. We drove up to a beach in Napili where I got to snorkel again. This time I went farther into the ocean. With T's help, I held on to his hand, cutting his circulation, while we floated and looked at the coral and fish. It was so fun! I was so close I could almost touch the fish. The worst part was when I accidentally swallowed sea water. Bleh! We got back to land and dried off. I had so much sand in my ass it was not even funny. E&T wanted to go back out to find the turtles so they went on and I stayed on the beach to darken up. When they got back, they told me how they saw a turtle as big as a dining room table.
For lunch we ate at the gazebo. It's a small outdoor restaurant that has really good food. E & T had huge pancakes while I had a huge Maui burger (burger, cheese, ham, and pineapple)
When we got back to the resort, we passed by the concierge (sp?). My sister asked a question about the nearby pools and as the lady was talking to us about the nearby pools and resorts, she somehow thought I was E's daughter! Ugh! She first asks me if I've gone to the kiddie pool. I swear right then I was about to smack her in the face! Then she asked my sister if I was her daughter. When we told her no, she then talked about how her dead grandmother was my height and shrunk a few inches shortly before she died. WTF?!?! Hasn't this lady lived in Hawaii long enough to know there are many people like me who are short and look very young for their age?!?!?! ARRGGGG!
Later that day we took the shuttle bus (courtesy of the resort) to the lahaina center. The main shopping center reminded me of Valco: dead. There weren't many stores, but I did get a few things. I think if we walked further, we would have seen more stuff.
For dinner we ate in an made spaghetti. So far the cheapest meal we've had!

Maui Day 4
This was the big day. It was zipline day. We got up sorta early and headed to the this small shopping center where the zipline store was. It was there where we signed in, got weighed, filled up our water bottles, got in a van with 9 other people, and headed up the hill. The van ride was horrible. I think the driver intentionally made the ride super bumpy. Luckily I didn't feel sick or get a headache. We were taken to a small station where we were greeted by our 2 guides and put on our safety gear. We then went back in the van that took us up to our first zipline (we went on 8 courses). It was so fun! I tried to scream, but I was too busy at looking at the view every time. I did scream on one course (my sister has video of it http://www.flickr.com/photos/eileenrose/) We did 4 courses, ate lunch with a beautiful view up high, then did 4 more courses. There was one course where I thought I was slowing down at the end and wasn't gonna make it to the other side. This one girl with us nearly went back after she couldn't quite reach the landing. Thank god our guide was able to grab her by her foot. After the last course, we got back in the van back to the station to return our gear, get back in the bumpy van ride, and back to the store. We got to keep our water bottles and I bought a sweatshirt for the winter time.
When we got back we hung around the pool, got a tour of the spa, ate dinner in and watched Dancing with the Stars.

Maui Day 5
As I said before, I can't swim, so my dad wanted to teach me. There was a small pool near our building that not many people go in because there's not much of a view. We used that for my practice. For the most part, I can kick my legs, hold my breath underwater for a long time and swim to the other side, but for some reason I can't grasp the idea of moving my arms and moving my head to the side to breathe. It's the one time where multitasking doesn't work for me. My dad said I started doing it right, but about half way I start to give up. I dunno.
After that failed lesson, we went back to the beach to play and relax. After lunch, E and I wanted to do some shopping in Lahaina. I bought a top and a dress at this cute boutique called Mahina. The cashier told me she's originally from San Jose and how a lot of people from the Blossom Hill area come to Maui. Couldn't tell if she was telling the truth or just being friendly. Next door was a marketplace where they had very good gelato. We got Ferrero Rocher flavored gelato. So good!
In celebration of Cinco De Mayo, resort offered a beer tasting and pairing. It was fairly lame and super expensive ($40 per person). 5 beers, 4 courses. The food and beer were good, but they were small meals paired with small samples of cheap beer. The only beer I didn't like was the dark beer (don't remember the name) paired with the flan (I don't like flan). The host didn't even explain much about the beers and the food.

Maui Day 6
On this day, T was asked by the Maui chamber of commerce to give a speech about Social Networking at the mall in downtown Kahalui. We all went with him, and while he gave his speech. The rest of us...well...shopped =) After that we ate at a place called Da Kitchen. It's a local eatery with large portions of food. E and dad had to take theirs home because it was so much food. Not much else happened this day, we were all lazy once we got back to the villa and couldn't wait to watch this week's episode of LOST =)

Maui Day 7
This was our last full day in Maui and it was starting to sink in that i'll be going home soon. We didn't do much. The only main thing I did was go back to Whalers Village to finish up my shopping.

Maui Day 8 - Travel Day
Got up really early to head to the airport. The flights back home weren't bad at all. This time we got chocolate cake as our desert. =) the only thing that sucked was once we arrived in SJ. It was almost 9pm California time, and i've been up since 5am Hawaii time. It took forever for our baggage to show up and getting the shuttle to take us to our car in the long term parking lot took forever. We still needed to eat! I got home around 10:30pm. Ugh

During the take offs (from Maui to Honolulu and Honolulu to SJ) I was frowning and saying goodbye to Hawaii in my head. I really like it there. The weather, the food, the style, fits me well. I want to go back. My only regret on this trip was that I didn't borrow Joy's large suitcase. All I have is two small ones. I couldn't buy everything I wanted to get because I knew there wouldn't be enough room in the suitcases for them (I wanted 2 really nice purses and some other items). I shoved as much of my clothing in my carry-on as possible so I had room for the souvenirs and gifts I bought in my checked bag.
I think everyone could learn something from the people of Hawaii. Their so nice and they truly believe in keeping things green. Some stores only have paper bags, while others don't even have bags. The zipline place was really green. The water bottles they gave us were BPA free which was good for the environment or something like that. I also had to hold on to the sweat shirt I bought because they don't use bags. Everywhere you go they use things made from recycled materials. There's hardly any trash on the ground. It's just so different. Going to Hawaii we had to fill out a claims form where we had to check yes or no to bringing in animals and plants to Hawaii. On the way back, our bags were checked to make sure we weren't taking home any plants or animals to the mainland U.S. Everything is just beautiful and clean. It's easy to forget that Hawaii is a U.S state and not another country. At least for me it was.

Aloha

I'm home

:::sigh:::

I miss Hawaii

Will post pics and make another blog post about my travels soon

For now I rest and catch up on what I missed

Tomorrow morning I'll be on a plane headed for Maui =)

I wont be bringing my laptop ::::gasp::::: but I'll still have my iphone with me (do'h!). Like I could stay away from Facebook and twitter =P

Finally, I'll get a chance to experience what people call, "vacation"

Bye!

(=^_^=)